With proposal season on the horizon, jewellery brand Diamonds Factory has spoken exclusively to Georgina Sturmer, a BACP registered counsellor, who has shared tips on how you can deal with nerves before popping the question.
Acknowledge that nerves are a natural response
The first thing to remember is that feeling nervous is a natural response to the situation. Your nerves are likely to be a mixture of all kinds of feelings; you’re likely to feel excited, but you also might feel overwhelmed with all the planning, details and secrecy, especially if you’re trying to create an elaborate or “perfect” proposal. But you can do a few things to acknowledge and manage your feelings without being overwhelmed.
Remember, it’s your day too
Don’t forget to think about your own needs and enjoyment when planning the proposal. This can be difficult, especially if we have “people-pleasing” tendencies. But think about creating a special moment that you will share equally.
Catch the catastrophe
If you’re prone to negative thinking, then carrying out a proposal could be a minefield. When you notice negative thoughts coming in, catch them before they spiral. Are they rational? Or are they irrational or overly critical? Are you feeling negative or nervous about something that you can’t control? Can you visualise yourself taking the negative thoughts out of your head, screwing them up like a piece of paper, and throwing them away?
Keep track of the details
If you’re planning an elaborate proposal, keep track of the details so the planning doesn’t overwhelm you. Acknowledge that something might not go according to plan and practice what you want to say beforehand to keep you calmer. If you’re becoming stressed trying to deliver the perfect proposal, be kind to yourself. Remember that your partner isn’t looking for someone who can deliver perfection in a single moment. They seek someone to be there for the rest of their lives.
Practise calming techniques
Different things work for different people. I often suggest “five-finger breathing” as a way to stay calm. Or take a moment to visualise something that feels like calmness to you. Maybe it’s a person, place, or a happy memory – or perhaps a future image of yourself and your partner.
