The Office for National Statistics (ONS) reported a significant rise in divorce rates across England and Wales, with 80,582 divorces in 2022 escalating to 103,816 in 2023, marking an almost 30% increase. This surge has sparked concerns that couples may be overlooking fundamental steps to nurture their relationships, potentially leading to preventable separations.

The most common ground for divorce cited in these figures is unreasonable behaviour, with the average marriage lasting approximately 12 years before dissolution. Amid this trend, interest in relationship coaching has grown, with Google search data showing a 34% increase in searches for terms like “relationship coach” across the UK from 2021 to 2025. Regionally, Northern Ireland saw a 26% rise, England 25%, Scotland 7%, and Wales 2%, reflecting a widespread desire to seek professional guidance to mend partnerships.

Tom and Isabelle, relationship experts at Talking Kinky, have shared practical advice to help couples revive their relationships in just 30 days. Their strategies focus on fostering connection, presence, and emotional intimacy to counteract the drift that often precedes divorce.

Tips to save a dying relationship

• Make time to connect. “You carve out time for gym sessions, dinners with friends, and endless scrolling, so why not do the same for your relationship? It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, even setting aside 20 minutes can make a difference. The key is actually booking it in,” shared Tom. “Treat your relationship like something worth prioritising rather than something that only gets time once everything else is done.”
• Be properly present. “You’ve set time aside, but there’s no point if one of you is mentally halfway through tomorrow’s to-do list. Presence means putting away the distractions, that includes the telly and your phone,” Isabelle prompted. “Even ten minutes of undisturbed, intentional time together can feel more intimate than an hour on the sofa while also replying to work emails. It’s not about quantity; it’s about showing the other person that you’re really there. Attention is the love language no one really talks about.”
• Communicate properly. “You’re now present, but that’s not always enough, it’s very easy to start slipping into logistical conversations: who’s doing the shop, who’s paid the bills, whose looking after the kids, that’s not emotional connection,” Tom urged. “Talk about more than just the day-to-day. Share your wins, your worries, your weird little thoughts. Don’t save all your honest chats for arguments or drunken date nights. Practice the good stuff, tell them when they’ve made you feel loved, or what you miss from when you first got together.”
• Learn to ‘see’ each other again. “Familiarity breeds a kind of blindness, we stop noticing the person right in front of us. Try slowing down and observing them with fresh eyes,” suggested Isabelle. “Watch how they laugh. Notice how they make their tea. Compliment something you haven’t in a while. These small acts remind you of the reasons you fell for them in the first place.”
• Bring back touch. “Touch is easy to neglect, especially when life feels busy or stressful. But physical connection doesn’t have to be steamy or serious, it can be a cuddle on the sofa, a foot rub, or holding hands while you wait for the kettle to boil. Reignite the soft stuff,” Tom encouraged. “Try short bursts of contact throughout the day, a quick back scratch, a proper hug, or even just brushing against each other while passing by. Bonus points if you can throw in some five-senses play: light candles, give each other a taste of something sweet, or find a massage oil you both like.”

This rise in divorce rates underscores the importance of proactive efforts to maintain relationships. As couples increasingly turn to relationship coaches, experts like Tom and Isabelle offer hope that small, intentional steps can rebuild connection and prevent partnerships from dissolving.