When it comes to relationship issues, people often hesitate to go for couples counselling. However, they need to understand that seeking this type of help is crucial if they want to understand these issues better and address them properly in the relationship.
In this article, we’ll discuss four such instances where you must consider seeking couples counselling if you want to work on your relationship or just find a concrete and conclusive answer to your questions regarding it.
When your relationship is falling apart, but you can’t pinpoint an exact reason why
Sometimes, a relationship issue can spring up without you or your partner knowing the reason behind it. It might be that you’re arguing more often these days than you have ever before, or it could be that you’re distancing yourself from each other. You might even feel like the two of you are drifting apart but can’t identify the exact reason.
But is it really possible that love between two individuals can fade or a relationship can fall apart without a concrete reason? Surely not. This is why you need to consider relationship counselling (or marriage counselling if you are married to your partner).
Many think that couples therapy is all about conflict resolution and conflict management. However, while a couples therapy session does cover these things, it offers a lot more than that.
In this particular case, where the reason behind the conflict itself is blurry, counselling can help uncover the root cause and address it. This is important because without knowing what’s causing you and your partner to drift apart, you can’t fix the relationship.
When your partner is becoming distant but not because of relationship problems
According to professional couples therapist Derwin Isaiah from Isaiah Counseling & Wellness, people in a relationship often become distant not because of relationship problems but because they often feel overwhelmed with their daily responsibilities.
He further suggests that in such cases, things only get more stressful if not addressed on time. Seeking couples counseling services is vital in this scenario as well. That’s because it’s another case of two people drifting apart due to a lack of communication.
There might not be any problems in your relationship, but the fact that you’re being consumed or feeling overwhelmed because of something else is also worrying. Addressing this issue under the guidance of a professional counselling service is of the utmost importance if you want the relationship to work out without any problems or misunderstandings.
When you or your partner or both think you’re in the relationship forcefully
Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt that you or your partner were in it just for the sake of it? Or have you thought that you were forcefully staying in the relationship? It can be a fleeting thought, or it can be your life’s reality.
In either case, not talking about these things with each other can harm your relationship. Most couples tend to avoid talking about these issues because they find them to be sensitive. Some couples avoid these conversations because they wouldn’t know how to act on them afterwards.
Thus comes the need for an independent third party to assess the situation, which, in this case, is your couple’s counsellor. They are trained and experienced in these regards and can smell relationship trouble from miles away.
As you talk about your deepest insecurities regarding the relationship or your partner, the counsellor will know what’s actually going on between the two of you. They can then conclude whether the relationship is something you are forcing yourself into. What you tend to do after acknowledging their insights regarding this is up to you.
When you feel like your partner isn’t doing enough for you
The feeling that someone is being taken for granted is common in a lot of relationships. One of the two partners, or sometimes both of them, feel as if the other is not doing enough for them. Whether that’s actually the case is debatable. It’s something that neither party might be interested in getting into. If they do, it could stir up even more problems.
Communicating these thoughts or feelings to a professional couples counsellor is one of the best ways you can realize whether you’re being taken for granted in the relationship. Counselling can also help you realize where things are going wrong here.
After that, you and your partner can work on various exercises suggested by the counsellor to strengthen your bond. The suggestions they pass onto you will be for the betterment of the relationship, where no one is taken for granted and everyone is respectful of the other’s contribution in their life and the relationship.
That’s all for this post. By now, you’ve hopefully understood the need to seek couples counselling in certain situations. Therefore, if you ever find yourself in such relationship problems, don’t hesitate to seek the help that you need.
David Radar, a psychology graduate from the University of Hertfordshire, has a keen interest in the fields of mental health, wellness, and lifestyle.