Twenty years ago, I published a qualitative study about 50 individuals who had undergone psychotherapy to change their sexual orientation. Some individuals described being harmed by these efforts, some described benefiting from them, and some reported mixed results. Rather than promoting only change or adoption of an out LGBQ+ identity, I learned what helped participants develop self-acceptance and their own positive self-identity. Understanding the wide range of their experiences and resolutions, I suggested the need for a new treatment approach besides adversarial polarisation in addressing sexual/gender diversity. As one research participant expressed: “I feel that more good could be done by the psychological and religious communities if they were to band together and help sexual minorities shed their self-hatred and find a respected place in society.”
From that research experience, I have met twice/a month since 2012 with clinicians and educators who differ politically about sexual/gender diversity. I learned from these dialogues how LGBTQIA-affirmative interventions are being experienced and perceived as aggressive (forcing a specific LGBTQIA+ identity, attacking people who disagree) or passive (not understanding and assessing issues comprehensively). In September 2017, I began inviting differing scholars, clinicians, and community leaders to coauthor/co-edit a peacemaking book project. Over 110 people contributed to the project. They co-created safety guidelines to work together and collaborated to find common ground on their chapter topic to improve well-being and self-development for a wide range of readers.
The LGBTQIA+ Peacemaking Book Project offers two guidebooks, Feel Secure in Yourself and Relate to Others with Confidence, published by Rowman & Littlefield, and twelve booklets that will be self-published by each set of chapter coauthors. These self-help resources are written for the general public. They can be used by academics, clinicians, researchers, religious leaders, parents, and others who want to learn updated and integrated ideas and skills about sexuality, gender, race and ethnicity, faith and purpose of life, emotional health, resilience, and relationships. Instead of reinforcing one side over another and perpetuating biases, our book project leverages various viewpoints to reduce prejudice and find common ground to build on. These resources are not designed to sway readers to live one option or another or to invalidate any life choices. Our goal is to provide a balanced perspective that respects all voices involved. We believe in integrating our collective knowledge to develop win-win strategies and solutions that reflect our differences, interconnectedness, and shared experiences.
Chapters in Feel Secure in Yourself were designed to increase readers’ personal resilience, self-acceptance, and growth in response to minority stress. Readers are encouraged to clarify their beliefs and improve their relationship with themselves to develop self-awareness, self-value, and self-direction. Readers may resolve conflicts as they increase their knowledge of themselves and others and consider resilient ways of experiencing sexual and gender diversity. Chapters in Relate to Other with Confidence were designed to increase readers’ social resilience, assertiveness, and growth in response to minority stress. This guidebook highlights the need for belonging, community building, and a safe, collaborative, and peaceful coexistence with our diverse, pluralistic cultures.
This book project serves as a social experiment to bridge gaps and address the historical and ongoing polarisation, misunderstandings, and harm related to sexual and gender diversity. We aim to empower readers by fostering identity and skill development while minimising the tendency to take sides, which often hinders progress. Our take-home message is that we all can suffer distress for being different and not belonging (a type of minority stress). But we suffer from minority stress differently depending on our social statuses, privileges, and disadvantages and the contexts that we’re in. We also have strengths in common and strengths that we can benefit from and learn from each other.
We hope our guidebooks and booklets will enable you and others to recognize and value your worth and that of those around you. In these politically divided times, we aspire for our resources to inspire similar initiatives and contribute to positive change. For a multi-partisan approach to sexual/gender diversity, including being informed when each booklet is released, you can visit Finding Congruence.
Lee Beckstead, PhD, is a psychologist in private practice in Salt Lake City, Utah. He was a member of the American Psychological Association’s 2009 task force regarding recommendations for those wanting to change their sexual orientation.
