Sexual wellness has stepped boldly into the spotlight in recent years, with sex toys shedding their taboo status and becoming a normalised part of many people’s lives. Yet, beneath this growing acceptance lies a striking divide in how men and women perceive and use these products. A new survey by Ohdoki, a company championing sexual wellness through its innovative device The Handy, has delved into the habits of 2,000 adults across the UK, uncovering the motivations, hesitations, and gender gaps that still shape this intimate landscape.
The findings reveal that enhancing intimacy with a partner tops the list of reasons for using sex toys for both genders. For men, 57% said this was their primary motivation, while 46% of women agreed. However, the paths diverge from there. Over a third of men, 34%, turn to sex toys to spice things up and add variety to their routines, placing this as their second most common reason. For women, though, solo pleasure takes precedence, with 30% citing increased enjoyment during alone time as their second-ranked motivation, compared to just 13% of men. This gap hints at differing attitudes, with women more than twice as likely to embrace toys for self-exploration.
Usage patterns further highlight this disparity. Almost three-quarters of women, 72%, have tried a sex toy at some point, while only 60% of men can say the same. That leaves two in five men, or 40%, who have never ventured into this territory. Regular use also skews heavily female, with 55% of women incorporating toys into their lives at least once a week, compared to just 36% of men. Solo vibrators reign as the most popular choice across the board, with 73% of adults having used one, though women outpace men here too, at 84% versus 58%.
Societal attitudes seem to play a significant role in this divide. Two-thirds of men, 66%, believe female sex toys enjoy greater social acceptance than their male counterparts, a perception that may fuel reluctance. Stigma remains a formidable barrier, with 41% of men feeling it prevents them from discussing toys openly with partners, compared to 29% of women. Knowledge gaps compound the issue. A striking 58% of men admit they know more about women’s sex toys than those designed for their own gender, and 38% wouldn’t even recognise a male sex toy if they saw one.
Concerns about partners’ reactions add another layer of complexity. More than one in five men, 21%, worry that using a sex toy might make their partner uncomfortable, nearly double the 11% of women who share this fear. This unease may explain why over half of men, 51%, only use toys during partnered intimacy, compared to 40% of women. For men, the focus remains on shared experiences, with 57% aiming to deepen connection, while women balance partnered use with solo enjoyment, where 30% seek personal pleasure against men’s modest 13%.
JP Wilhelmsen, Ohdoki’s founder and CEO, sees these findings as a call to action. “Our survey highlights a clear gap in sex toy use between men and women, with men being less likely to explore them, whether it’s due to shame, concern over a partner’s reaction, or simply a lack of knowledge,” he says. “But now, it’s time to change that. Normalising conversations around male sex toys is essential because there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Sex toys can enhance both partnered and solo experiences, helping men better understand their own bodies, preferences, and pleasure.”
Ohdoki’s mission is to dismantle these barriers, fostering a more inclusive dialogue around sexual wellness. The survey suggests that while women have embraced toys as tools for both independence and connection, men remain tethered to societal expectations, hesitant to explore beyond partnered contexts. With 66% of men noting the greater visibility of female products, and 57% agreeing they’re more widely accessible, the industry has work to do in levelling the playing field. Until then, the pleasure gap persists, a quiet reminder that sexual liberation, though advancing, still has uneven strides to take.
