It is hard not to be affected by the series Adolescence in some way. From the outstanding cast, to the unique one take production, even putting the storyline aside it is a masterpiece.

As a parent however, Adolescence is a gruelling watch.

The story centres around Jamie, a 13 year old boy, accused of murdering a fellow school pupil.

Talk of Adolescence has exploded over social media, why? Because it touches a nerve. As much as we hate to admit it, it feels a bit too close to home. How many of us have watched it, whilst playing back our own parenting decisions and potential red flags we have swept under the carpet. Chances are they are insignificant right? Just part of growing up. But are they?

The series was built on real life News stories observed by Stephen Graham, of violent acts carried out towards young girls. It showcases how easily young people can be manipulated into following dark ideologies, toxic traits and how they are buying into misogyny. More than just following the story of solving a crime, it explores the impact, the guilt and the responsibility felt by Jamie’s parents as they navigate the shock and reality of the situation.

They want to believe that their son couldn’t have carried out such a horrific act, and yet faced with mounting evidence it seems that they may have missed something along the way.

So why as a parent is it a hard watch?

Watching it is making people uncomfortable because it is delving under the skin of misogyny, which as a society we have chosen to look the other way from, for too long. But this is bigger than that even. It is about parents putting their heads in the sands when conversations get too tough, too embarrassing or too scary. But if we don’t step up, who will?

If we do not step in, then the internet, peers and the media become the teachers.

We are currently in a social setting that is being dominated by men that promote physical strength, bullish tactics and promoting the notion that power has to be taken. Tate, Musk and Trump are hitting the news daily, actively suppressing the views and rights of minority groups and actively promoting male dominance. Boys in their droves are eagerly falling foul of following the narratives set out by Tate which is making them angrier, more isolated from their families and it seems causing an increase in violence towards women.

Top tips

• Stop making assumptions. If you are really honest with yourself, have you asked your teens enough questions? Do you do enough to understand what they have going on and what their opinions are. Stop making assumptions. Take the time to probe and challenge your teens on their understanding and/or opinions.
• Do the research. Research the hot topics, pay attention to influencers online and in the media and make it a priority to ‘get down with the kids’. Figuratively not literally.
• Close the tech gap. Have you done enough to close the tech gap between you? That means actively keeping on top of online trends, understanding how social media is being used and monitoring your teens’ phones. Just saying ‘I don’t understand all this new technology’ is not good enough.
• Put in the work. Parenting is not meant to be easy. It isn’t about allowing them to hang out with friends for hours on end, unchecked or giving them unlimited access to social media just to avoid an argument. I am not saying you need to ‘helicopter parent’, mistakes build resilience of course, but be present.

Nicole Howes is a book editor, company director, and mum of two. Inspired by creating a safe space for her children, she wrote “Not A Survival Guide” to promote open conversations on a wider scale.